Angstipan
EST. 1986 · LEONIDA
PHIX PHARMACEUTICALS PRESENTS

IT CURES
EMOTIONS.™

America's Favorite Dissociative.

GET YOUR REFILL
Pat the Pill, the Angstipan mascot, waving on a Vice City beach at sunset
PHIX-TV CH·3 LEONIDA

Patients 18–65 should use with extreme caution. Sudden urge to blink could be life-threatening. Results may vary.

IT CURES EMOTIONS.™ AMERICA'S FAVORITE DISSOCIATIVE ASK YOUR DOCTOR IF FEELINGS ARE RIGHT FOR YOU SIDE EFFECTS INCLUDE STRONG OPINIONS REFILL AT ANGSTIPAN.STORE
PATIENT INFORMATION

WHAT IS ANGSTIPAN?

01

Fast-Acting.

Onset within one loading screen. Angstipan crosses the blood-brain barrier and politely asks your feelings to leave.

02

Clinically Cheerful.

Nine out of ten patients reported feeling "fine." The tenth reported nothing at all, which we're counting as a success.

03

Doctor Trusted.

Prescribed by Dr. Phillips since 1986. He has not been reached for comment.

PHIX
PHARMACEUTICALS · LEONIDA
PACKAGE INSERT · FORM 86-B

PRESCRIBING INFORMATION

ANGSTIPAN® (angstipan hydrochloride) extended-release capsules, 200 mg NDC 1986-1119-86
ACTIVE INGREDIENT
Angstipan hydrochloride, 200 mg
MANUFACTURER
Phix Pharmaceuticals, Leonida
FIRST APPROVED
November 19, 1986
INDICATIONS
Emotions. All of them.
℞ 1986·11·19
CONTRAINDICATIONS

Do not take Angstipan if you are currently experiencing joy, grief, love, mild irritation, or a five-star wanted level.

SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE

Strong opinions, sudden urge to blink, dissociation from Vice City, an inability to feel anything during cutscenes.

WARNING

Call your doctor if your smile lasts more than four hours or if you begin to remember 1986.

Angstipan XR bottle — It Cures Emotions, Rx Only, Mfr: Phix
FIG. 1 — ANGSTIPAN XR, 200 MG
PATIENT OUTCOMES · SELF-REPORTED · UNSOLICITED
CASE NO. 001 — OUTCOME: SATISFACTORY ★★★★★

"Took one capsule before the evening news. Felt nothing for eleven straight days. My neighbor totaled my car and I waved. Five stars."

— PAT FLANNERDY, VICE CITY
CASE NO. 002 — OUTCOME: EMOTIONS DETECTED ★☆☆☆☆

"Terrible. I felt things almost immediately — one of them may have been remorse. I demand a refund and a written apology, in that order."

— MR. ZOO, ALSO VICE CITY

* Phix has been unable to verify that these are two different people.

SOCIAL DIRECTORY · DOSAGE FORMS

REFILL AT
ANGSTIPAN.STORE

Six dispensaries. One refill. Select the dosage form your physician recommended.

@angstipan @Angstipan @angstipan.store @angstipanstore u/Angstipan-store Angstipan_
SHELF 3 · DISSOCIATIVES · RESTOCKED DAILY